Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Watch out! I have my Fuck You shoes on

How to make an instant slut: apply 7-inch hooker red heels.
How to make an instant crack slut: apply broken 7-inch hooker red heels.

I just went from instant slut to instant crack slut on Monday. I was taking my shoes off and realized they are starting to come apart. It's not quite to the point of limping down the street with one 7 inch heel and one bare foot, but I imagine that is a situation I'd like to avoid. I'd also like to avoid a complete separation of slut and shoe whilst walking and trying to look fetching.

So, now I have to search the interwebs for slutty shoes and hope like hell they fit my wide feet. There are lots of very tacky shoes out there. One pair has a heel with stacked dice on it that I thought were anal beads for a minute. It was an interesting minute and I'll do you the service of not telling you the mental picture I got with a 7inch shoe with heel made out of anal beads.  You are welcome for that.

We have had several shoe vendors throughout the years and haven't found one that we are in love with or even one we'd like to hate fuck once in a while. Some vendors have very low quality shoes, others are ungodly expensive, and others have anal beads for heels.  I went over the rules for stripper shoe buying in a previous post , but now I have to actually try to find some. I am not sure if there is a classy stripper shoe, but I would like one that doesn't have fake money trapped inside the platform. I have had a few pairs now and I really like my red ones, but I think it's time for something new. I love fun stuff, and of course that is all subjective, but I am having a hard time finding footwear for the classy tart.

I found these, which might be interesting- perhaps a bit shy of classy and are probably not terribly practical (can you call stripper shoes practical or is that illegal?) Since I don't actually dance in a club, I doubt I'd be turning them on that often. It seems a bit too desperate for attention in a class setting. I have seen a few 4 1/2 inch heels, but those just seem way too tame. If I am going to be slutty, I am going to commit to it god damn it. If anyone out there has a good vendor, let me know. Otherwise, the search will continue.

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