Tuesday, February 8, 2011

These cunts don't do country

Dancing 3x per week means that we are constantly trying to find different music to dance to. We try to vary the type of music that we play- some pop, some older rock, some cock rock (80s hair metal) and some modern rock and even the occasional disco song, but no country. If you are going to have a class that spans many ages and backgrounds, you have to try to appeal to a lot of different people, which inevitably means that our personal music collections are not always enough to get the job done. Even songs you like get old after hearing it over and over, so it's nice to bring in something fresh every now and then.

Lots of girls have made cd's for us over the years and they are all named Dance class, CD for Adena, or some variant of Sexy Pole Music.  The problem with all mixed CD's is that there is no one name for them and though I poke fun at that when I am digging through the CD's looking for dance music. I had the same problem when I made a CD, absolutely no clue what to name it, so I named it Jaime made this 2011, lick my butt if you don't like it.

When creating your playlist of doom please keep a few things in mind:
1. we really try to avoid songs with the N word. Yes, I am aware that sailors stand with mouths agape when I fire off some colorful language, but one word you won't hear me say or see me type is the N word. It's just fucking horrible and offensive and I don't care what color your skin is, I think it is beyond low-class to throw it around and we would hate to offend someone else who has a far more personal relationship with that word than I'll ever see.
2. Please make an entire CD, one that is about an hour and 15 minutes long. A cd with 3 songs on it totally chaps my ass and not in a good way.
3. For fuck's sake name it something that identifies what it is - Sarah- fave 80s pop- or some such shit. (I didn't do that, but I was being an ass and even if I hadn't put my name on it, people would have known it was me because, well, I'm an ass.)
4. It would be nice to have a variety of different kinds of music on one CD. Change up the tempo, don't use all the same artist.
5. We don't use country music, it doesn't lend itself well to pole dancing and also, I hate it and I control the CD player.
6. If you love it, ignore all the shit I said above. If you love it, someone else will too, and if they don't well fuck them and dance your own ass off. 

  I lean toward the hard rock, so most of the songs on my CD are hard rock, but there are a few slower warm-up songs, and a few unexpected songs sprinkled in. here's the track list:
  1. Me So Horny ~ Richard Cheese
  2. Tainted Love ~ Marilyn Manson
  3. Psychotic Girl ~The black keys
  4. I'll Be Your Man ~ The Black Keys
  5. Cypress Grove ~ Clutch
  6. The Path Before Me ~ The Buffalo Killers
  7. Sweet Charity ~ Mr. Bungle
  8. She Rides ~ Danzig
  9. Fuck You ~ Cee-lo
  10. Lying is the Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off ~ Panic! At the Disco
  11. Cold Hard Bitch ~ JET
  12. Fat Bottom Girls ~ Queen
  13. Sugar Daddy ~ Soundtrack from Hedwig and the Angry Inch
  14. What!? ~ Rob Zombie
  15. Porn Star Dancing ~ My Darkest Days Featuring Ludacris
  16. Knockers ~ The Darkness
  17. Kinda I Want To ~ Nine Inch Nails
  18. Motherless Child ~ Clutch
  19. Wynona's Big Brown Beaver ~ Primus

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Misconceptions about pole classes

  • I can't go to a pole class if I weigh more than 90 pounds.
  • Mothers & Grandmothers can't go to pole classes.
  • Everyone there will be smoking hot, 10,15,20 years younger than I am, and immensely talented.
  • Pole classes are meant for women who plan to work in clubs.
  • The teacher and other students will judge me.
There are hundreds more reasons that women come up with not to attend a pole class. Here are the facts, at least in our classes at Women's Exotic Workout, in Omaha, Nebraska
  • Women of all sizes are sexy and full-figured women have plenty of curves to show off that some petite girls would kill for.
  • Women of all ages and backgrounds can have a great time and get a great workout at a pole class. Being sexy and having sex is not only for 22 year-olds. If you are having sex (and we know you are, or are hoping to in the future), then pole class can be an excellent way to show the confidence that a mature woman has.
  • Everyone comes in the door, regardless of age, with something to learn. For some it is confidence, for some it is strength or grace or just plain nerve, but having an ass so tight you can bounce a quarter off of it is not required at all.
  • There are some girls who work in clubs currently who come to learn a few tricks, but the vast majority of women who attend our pole classes have absolutely no intention of working in a club and come for the workout and to have a ridiculous amount of fun.
  • We believe that pole dancing is a great bonding experience for women, an opportunity to support and cheer for our girlfriends and we simply do not allow competition or judgment. Our goal is to help every woman feel sexier and more confident inside and out. We also believe that confidence will spill over into every aspect of your life.