Thursday, May 19, 2011

The post in which I "A the 'F' out of your Q's"

Sometimes we have girls come in who are seeing things that take months or years to learn correctly who just decide to fling themselves at a pole (sometimes upside down) and try it because they assume that if we can do it; they can do it.  Occasionally, you need to keep your twat away from the pole and learn something first.

But I thought you said this was a supportive environment?

It is. I promise. It really is. The thing is, no one means to be bitchy about it, but just because someone makes it look easy doesn't mean it is. We would hate to have someone get hurt. I would be happy to teach anyone anything they want to learn, but to do a move upside down from 6 feet in the air does not happen 20 minutes into class. Part of supporting you is making sure you don't break your neck. In this situation - depending on what the person has her sights set on- I will show one part of the move at a time and sometimes show the "baby move" or preliminary steps to doing the more impressive move. I will celebrate like hell with you when you get to the "big girl" version. I'll spot you, I'll encourage you, but ask for help when you want to do something you haven't done before.

But I am totally in shape and I am super flexible and if you can do it, I could totally do it, right?

Um, in a word, no. I have been doing this for 4 years and I am somewhere between a size 12 and a 14, so by no means a tiny girl, but I am pretty strong and I have experience. (Recently lost 20 lbs and still working hard - go me!) I have heard this from countless girls who are in better shape and more flexible than I am. I don't think they mean to be rude, I think they just really believe it to be so.

Here is what I tell them: I've been doing this for 4 years, you've been at this for 45 minutes. You may very well be able to do this particular move in less time than it took me to learn because you are in great shape, and that's great, but there is more to this than being thin and flexible. You have to be pretty strong, you have to know how to grip the pole, you have to know how to reposition your body to complete the move, you have to be pretty confident about what you are supposed to be holding on with - your knee, one hand, two hands, thighs, feet, etc. and that takes experience, which is the one thing I do have.

So I should never try anything or ask you to show me anything because it's rude, right?

No! Not at all, please, please, please ask us, try things! Here is the best way to do that: first, if you see something you think is neat, ask about it. Ask if you can see it again- who doesn't love having someone admire their accomplishment? Ask if the person can show you how it's done. Most importantly, ask for a spotter, or two if necessary. If you are strong and flexible, I may be able to teach you something that took me 2 years to learn in 10 minutes and you may be able to do it better than I will ever be able to, but I want you to do it safely.

So, to break this shit down. Yes I will help you. Yes, I will show you how. No, it is not at all nice to assume you can do it because someone else did who has years of experience that you don't. Yes, it's really good to ask about something you'd like to learn. Yes, I'd love to show you again. Yes, I will show you everything that it is safe for you to learn and keep working with you until you get it. No, I won't be mad at you. Yes, I will spot you. No, I do not think I am better than you, I just have more experience and I will share that experience with you in a way that makes you better at pole dancing and keeps you safe because a neck brace isn't sexy - even if you are thin and flexible.

I would never presume that I could walk in to your job, kick your snatch out of the chair, plop my butt down and do your job just as well as you do. I bet, with your help and experience I could learn what you do. There may be things you do that I'll never be good at and others that I require little to no help on, but as a whole, I'd need some guidance.  Stop and think for a minute and I think you'll agree. Besides, spotting you means I get to grab a little ass and I am all about that!

If you have questions or comments, please post them, I'd be happy to answer anything anyone wants to know or start a discussion about something.

jaime