2014 Pole Expo in the City of Sin

For any of our ladies who didn't already know, several of the assistant teachers and I will be going to the 2014 Pole Expo in Las Vegas! Our Pole Mama will be keeping the home fires burning while we tear it up in Sin City. If you are interested in going check out the pole expo. It will be held September 4-7th, 2014.  I look forward to getting some great new ideas and I am sure we'll have a few awesome failures to report, too. If any of you are going and you want to meet up at the Expo, let me know.

Over the next couple of weeks, I'll be introducing you to the classes we'll be taking and the fine ladies who will teach them.  Expect to see some fun stuff!

Take a Load Off, Annie

Under normal circumstances I write a bunch of obnoxious crap. Today, I am going to stray from that and tell you what our classes are really about.  See, they aren't about slappers or sass mouths or spins or strutting; they are about real women learning from each other. We learn from women who are older, younger, thinner, and fatter. We learn from dancers and klutzes. We learn from women who have money and ones that are flat broke. Some of us have a bunch of fancy degrees and some of us barely made it through high school. Some of us have grown kids, some have babies and some have none at all. Some of us have giant asses and some have scrawny legs. We are all different colors. We are all women and that is all we need to stick together. 

For a bunch of salty tarts, we do an excellent job of supporting each other and we create an absolutely safe environment. In the studio walls there is no slut-shaming, no fat-shaming, and no self-deprecation allowed. We don't condone competition, judgment - of yourself or others.  On top of all that, there is also a place where you can lay your heart out and get someone to connect with you. 

Today someone who was a perfect stranger told me something very personal. I won't share any bit of it here, but it made me think about how alone we feel sometimes even when surrounded by friends and family. The people who love us are sometimes the hardest to share our deepest fears with. Even when they are great people and they mean to be nothing less than supportive, we can feel alone. 

Oddly, sometimes a stranger can be the best way to unburden yourself. I think that's probably because you don't care what they think or whether they agree with you or not. A stranger can't make you feel guilty and won't argue "what's best for you". Sometimes a stranger gives you a chance to voice your own needs to someone who has no stake in your life.

I was glad to be a trusted person in a place where women can unburden themselves without judgment. I think that is what we foster at WEW more than spins and dirty dance moves. We grow trust, confidence, and pride in other women. We are lucky enough to come along for that ride. 

If you hear us saying dirty words and you see us doing dirty things, please remember we are a safe place and people you can trust. It's not just Adena and me, it's all the women. We feel a responsibility to make our studio the place where women grow. 

If you think that is something you could use some more of in your life, or if you love someone who could benefit from some time with us, please send her over. We'd really love it if you did. We're some of the nicest nasty girls around. I hope that the person I spoke with today knows that I meant all of the things I said and that we will all be there for her, even those of us who don't even know what her troubles are. Side by side we'll spin and strut and dance and laugh and all of us who are so different find we are just the same. 

Late Bitches Get Stitches - WEW Schedule

Please email Adena@cox.net for more info on pricing, specials, and booking parties. 

We operate a women-friendly business. Women of all ages, sizes, races are welcome. Please don't apply lotion or oil on dance day. We know what real women look like in shorts- we wear them too, and it's best if you wear shorts to get the most out of your experience with us.

Weekly Classes:

Please be at studio and ready to play before class time begins.
Tuesday      6:45-8:15 pm
Wednesday  6:45-8:15 pm
Thursday     6:45-8:15 pm
Saturday Afternoon 2:45-4:15 pm
Friday and Saturday Evenings are by appointment only**


Parties:

**We often have multiple parties on Fridays and Saturdays. Party spots sell out most weekends, sometimes we can squeeze you in at the last minute, but early booking is always best. We love ladies night out parties just as much as birthdays and bachelorette parties.

Party Info:
1.  Book ASAP! A $100 deposit saves your date/time (this is applied to the total price of the          party) The person who books pays the teacher the remaining balance at party time.
2. No lotion or oil on your skin at all on the day of the party/class
3. Wear shorts, long pants don't work well for sticking to the pole
4. Show up on-time (15 minutes before your scheduled start time)! Being half an hour late will not extend your party time, nor will it lower the price of the party
5. Drinks: Bring a few, have a few, but no one gets wasted - it's dangerous
6. This is a loud, obnoxious, adult party. Be prepared for naughty words and naughty fun.
7. Heels - bring them,  It's more fun, but not required.
8. Tips are awesome and we hope you love your party enough to tip the teacher. As always,    tips are not required

My saddle's waitin', come and jump on it

Everyone should take a little time here and there and just let go. Eat crappy, hang out on the couch, watch shitty movies, generally misbehave. Everyone is always looking for the cure to fat and lazy in the form of pills and drink mixes and surgeries. Now, before everyone freaks the fuck out, I do understand that there are times when those interventions are absolutely necessary.


I don't see nothin' wrong with a little stuffin' & wine. That is how the song went, right? A little is good, a day off is good. One. day. off. We tend to expand our arses and lose sight of our goals during the holiday season- there are endless gatherings and parties and snacks and treats and drinks. Trying to stay on your regular ass-kicking schedule will keep you feeling and looking better.

I feel fat and lazy some days and overindulge at more parties than I should. I eat badly when I know I shouldn't. I hear myself saying that I am unhappy with the way I look and STILL accept the doughnut offered to me at work sometimes. I am proud that I decline them more than I accept them and that I have really made an effort to spend more time eating the way I should and exercising like I should. The hardest part for me is the part where I have all the good excuses- birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, bar mitzvahs, thanksgiving, flag day, Tuesday and then I continue eating that way even when the occasion is over. 


During the holidays, you may gain a few, but what the fuck, you'll be happier. Happiness is worth something. When an overindulgence in your merry making leaves you with a FUPA (Fat Upper Pussy Area), then you have gone too far and thus leads the slippery slope to unhappiness. While I love a slippery slope as much as the next girl. I don't like the ones that lead to unhappiness. Get back up on that pony as soon as possible. Cut the shit and listen to how much your mouth is complaining about how much your hand keeps feeding it and then do something about that. Shut your piehole. Yep. Shut it. I have to tell myself that all the time. I have to- gasp- listen to what my mouth says about how I am eating, how I look and how I am feeling and act accordingly. Why am I subjecting everyone else to my rants and bitching if I, who has control over the whole process, am not listening? A few extra pounds during the holidays is nothing to get too worked up about, but get back to doing what you should before 8 pounds turns into 40.


~Piece out


The song above was covered by the band Far and is called Pony

Too fucked up not to share

Trim your shit. Seriously.

Ladyscaping, trimming, shaving, waxing, plucking, dance to the goddess of hair removal- do it your way, but do it.

When I am through with you, there won't be anything left

Ladies come to class wanting to learn things that will make their friends swoon and their men stand at attention. On the first day, they want to be upside down 13 feet in the air and graceful and powerful. They want to be transformed in 75 minutes.We want you to do all that too. We might need to negotiate the timeline. We'd love to support your desire to do things you never thought possible. I have been there and I remember how incredible it feels to do something you never imagined you could and to look at something and say I want to do that. There are still things I see that make me believe that the laws of gravity must make an exception for our pole mama. We'd just really like you not to be stupid about it. When you do something that is potentially dangerous, you need to know what you are going to do before you get up there, how to get down if it doesn't work, and be able to trust that your grip is correct, so that if you are sliding down the pole head first, you know what to do. We'd love to see you waving from the top of the pole. We'd like to see what you look like face down, ass up. Sometimes, that's pretty hot. Sometimes it is goddamned ridiculous.

Usually, I would say I look goddamned hot, but on Saturday I was upside down and holding on with my ankles and laughing so hard that I nearly let go. My ankles were holding me on to the pole, but I could not maintain my position. I was sliding down and laughing my ass off because I just could not get a grip on the pole. I tried doing a sit up to get back up and just kept sinking toward the floor. At that point, I just gave up and went on down to the floor in a safe, but decidedly unglamorous way.

I looked like the stripper equivalent of a $2 whore. The sort that isn't going to cost you much, but where you leave thinking you wished you'd saved up some more scratch before you blew it on some low-rent snatch.  I just totally rhymed that shit. Maybe I will need to do some stripper poetry. Hooker haiku. Stripper Sonnets. Cunty couplets. Iambic pentameter- shit, I don't have one for that.

Sorry, I just totally took you off on a tangent, anyway my indecent descent wasn't dangerous because I knew how to grip on with my ankles and trusted that would hold me on- and it did, it just didn't hold me up- which is usually the job of your calves. I also know about 10 different ways to safely extract myself from that position, so I wasn't concerned at all. A new person might have experienced that a totally different way because she would not have that understanding of the grip, or have at her disposal a number of ways to get down other than crashing on her face and that feeling is scary, even if you have someone there to spot you and it all works out fine.

Whilst making my descent, albeit very ungracefully, the thought occurred to me, "Maybe I need a fucking helmet". Wouldn't that be hot? Think I could make it catch on like syphilis in a frat house? I am thinking something that matches my shoes? or perhaps a more obvious choice is a Glitter helmet. I have attached a link for any of you who are nodding your head along with everything I said and thinking, "I do that!" Every stripper is looking for more ways to incorporate sparkles, why not as headgear? Clearly a glitter helmet is the answer for the klutzy sexpot. I could totally rock that shit, right? Maybe it will prevent the need for a glittery neckbrace.

The excitement to learn is one of the best parts of this stripper gig. I can't even count the number of lady bits I see in a week sometimes.  We love enthusiasm. We adore ladies who are so excited they can't contain their desire to do everything all at once. We'd also love to show you how to do everything you want to learn. Some days that will be all about learning dance moves and spins. Other days, it will be about building the strength and different grips necessary to do the big stuff. Sometimes, it may seem lame and like you didn't get anything "good" out of today's class, it is really important.  Especially when you get the chance to do something new and don't have to freak out wondering how the fuck do I get my silly twat back down from here if I realize that I cannot position myself correctly? No one ever wants to learn that. The time to learn it is not while you are upside down and struggling to hold your body weight up and figuring out how to get into position and deciding whether you are going to fall or not and Adena is yelling, "Put your left hand down! No, right hand, no, left, yes, left!"  The time to learn how to get back down if you need to is before your get your snatch up over your skull.

People assume that if it looks easy, it is easy. To that I say, do you have any idea how hard and how long I work to make this shit look easy? How many different moves I learn that I can use to get back down if I need to? How many different grips I know to get out if I just can't make this shit happen? I would love to teach you all of that so that you can do a ton of cool stuff and not need a bedazzled wheelchair when it is over.

If sex were shoes, I'd wear you out. But I wouldn't wear you out in public

dual purpose anal bead/stripper shoe

My bitch better have my money, Through rain, sleet, or snow,
My whore better have my money,
Not half, not some, but all my cash,
'Cause if she don't,
I'm gonna put my foot in her ass.

Believe it or not, I had several people who requested a visual of the anal bead shoe. I don't know why you would want or need both anal beads and footwear in one transparent package, but there, my friends, it is. I can only assume it is for the "'Ho on the Go".

Number 1

Anybody who would like to tell me how these two items belong like peanut butter and chocolate, I am down. As a matter of fact, any bitch who could tell me with any degree of creativity how these two items are properly joined in one awesome foot-to-ass package will be my new best friend for a whole week- with option to extend at the end of said week. That is 7 days of glorious wit and sarcasm, stripper shoe shopping, pole dancing and we *might* make matching friendship bracelets if shit goes right. You know, don't force it. All you needy bitches out there had better get started writing rough drafts. I like it tight, so Kegel up that writing sample. All submissions due by October 16th with friendship rights starting on October 21st at midnight.

Number 2

In the true and noble quest for my Spinderella slippers I have found three potential candidates. I have affectionately named them Number 1, Number, 2 and Number 3.

Now, Number 1 is a cutesy one with red roses in it. That one might just be too obnoxiously cute, but it's got my name all over it. I can't tell if the flowers are fixed in there or floating around. I don't know if I would like them moving around all the time.

Number 2 I think is really nice, not sure it's quite slutty enough and my aforementioned duck feet might be too wide for them and shoes with the little strappy things across the foot are not likely to stretch like many of the other tart shoes. It definitely meets the classy requirement.

Naughty Number 3 is an adorably sweet baby pink with a no-fucking-around-heel. I do like a nice slutty red, though. I would do a smoking hot pink, but I am not sure about the baby pink.   It has the stretchy bit across the top for my fat feet. Is it possible to make these hardcore- without anal beads? I don't want my stripper shoes to say, "I have a stupid Barbie fantasy that I can't get over"  I want to say, "You might need to sign a waiver because this bitch knows things".

Number 3

What do you think? Anybody seen anything that I should take under consideration? Here's your turn for shit I should like. You can comment below or on facebook.

Right now, I am so late to this party, but I am about halfway through Life Unexpected on Netflix and I love it. Check it out.