Sometimes we have girls come in who are seeing things that take months or years to learn correctly who just decide to fling themselves at a pole (sometimes upside down) and try it because they assume that if we can do it; they can do it. Occasionally, you need to keep your twat away from the pole and learn something first.
But I thought you said this was a supportive environment?
It is. I promise. It really is. The thing is, no one means to be bitchy about it, but just because someone makes it look easy doesn't mean it is. We would hate to have someone get hurt. I would be happy to teach anyone anything they want to learn, but to do a move upside down from 6 feet in the air does not happen 20 minutes into class. Part of supporting you is making sure you don't break your neck. In this situation - depending on what the person has her sights set on- I will show one part of the move at a time and sometimes show the "baby move" or preliminary steps to doing the more impressive move. I will celebrate like hell with you when you get to the "big girl" version. I'll spot you, I'll encourage you, but ask for help when you want to do something you haven't done before.
But I am totally in shape and I am super flexible and if you can do it, I could totally do it, right?
Um, in a word, no. I have been doing this for 4 years and I am somewhere between a size 12 and a 14, so by no means a tiny girl, but I am pretty strong and I have experience. (Recently lost 20 lbs and still working hard - go me!) I have heard this from countless girls who are in better shape and more flexible than I am. I don't think they mean to be rude, I think they just really believe it to be so.
Here is what I tell them: I've been doing this for 4 years, you've been at this for 45 minutes. You may very well be able to do this particular move in less time than it took me to learn because you are in great shape, and that's great, but there is more to this than being thin and flexible. You have to be pretty strong, you have to know how to grip the pole, you have to know how to reposition your body to complete the move, you have to be pretty confident about what you are supposed to be holding on with - your knee, one hand, two hands, thighs, feet, etc. and that takes experience, which is the one thing I do have.
So I should never try anything or ask you to show me anything because it's rude, right?
No! Not at all, please, please, please ask us, try things! Here is the best way to do that: first, if you see something you think is neat, ask about it. Ask if you can see it again- who doesn't love having someone admire their accomplishment? Ask if the person can show you how it's done. Most importantly, ask for a spotter, or two if necessary. If you are strong and flexible, I may be able to teach you something that took me 2 years to learn in 10 minutes and you may be able to do it better than I will ever be able to, but I want you to do it safely.
So, to break this shit down. Yes I will help you. Yes, I will show you how. No, it is not at all nice to assume you can do it because someone else did who has years of experience that you don't. Yes, it's really good to ask about something you'd like to learn. Yes, I'd love to show you again. Yes, I will show you everything that it is safe for you to learn and keep working with you until you get it. No, I won't be mad at you. Yes, I will spot you. No, I do not think I am better than you, I just have more experience and I will share that experience with you in a way that makes you better at pole dancing and keeps you safe because a neck brace isn't sexy - even if you are thin and flexible.
I would never presume that I could walk in to your job, kick your snatch out of the chair, plop my butt down and do your job just as well as you do. I bet, with your help and experience I could learn what you do. There may be things you do that I'll never be good at and others that I require little to no help on, but as a whole, I'd need some guidance. Stop and think for a minute and I think you'll agree. Besides, spotting you means I get to grab a little ass and I am all about that!
If you have questions or comments, please post them, I'd be happy to answer anything anyone wants to know or start a discussion about something.
jaime
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
You're the right kind of sinner to release my inner fantasies
I am not sexy. I don't do sexy. I am an athelete, a ballet dancer, a serious woman, a housewife, a geek, too tall, too short, too fat, to scrawny, too shy, my boobs are too small, my thighs are too big. I am just not pretty enough, or not pretty in that way. So I will look stupid, I will laugh, he will laugh, she will laugh, they will all laugh. I will throw up, or fall down or break his nose, or worse, his dick. Everyone else is going to have perfect balance, grace and a fuck me face that turns all men to jelly and probably some women too.
The truth is, many people are not inherently sexy. They don't ooze sex with every step, every breath. It is a skill and you can learn it. We, as women, are often taught that we can either be smart or sexy. We can be athletic or sexy. We can be graceful or sexy. We can be a thousand things, but we can't also be sexy. Only disreputable, slutty, nasty, gross, trashy women can be sexy because they cannot have any other positive qualities. Sexy means you have nothing else to offer but sex, right?
Um, yeah, bullshit! You're asking me, sugar would I lie to you? No. I won't lie. I won't tell you that your awkward, brainy self will penetrate the threshold of our hallowed studio and a sex bomb will explode all over the doorway and strut her ass in. The truth is sexy is a skill, you can work on it. You may not ever be Marilyn Monroe, but there is an alternate universe where you are all the things that make you successful and sexy at the same time. You don't have to choose one.
Sexy = confidence and confidence= sexy. All of you math geeks out there will look at that and say, that's an answer to a question, how do I get there? Where's the equation? Therein lies the rub, you have to find it. I know that sounds all existential, but that's why this is so hard. You have to find a new way of seeing the woman you think you already know. Some people are just one compliment and a smack on the ass away from full on sex goddess and other people have a thousand baby steps to go.
Who has two thumbs and has a thousand baby steps to go? This bitch. Okay, so a thousand baby steps is a long way, and a long way, is well, a long way. Dance class is a great way to take one teensy step at a time while avoiding humiliation in the eyes of the object of your romantic fancy. My best advice- start with eye contact. If you can't bear to look yourself in the eye, then look at someone else, just for a few seconds. Listen to the cheers of the women around you. We don't lie. We just see you in a different way, from a whole new perspective.
I don't lie, I can't. I am just not wired that way. What I can do is look at each woman when they walk through the door and see where they are at with being openly sexy and note each minute bit of progress. For some women it is taking out the ponytail holder, for some it's a solid smack on their own ass, for others it's a smile when they look in the mirror, for others it is as simple as creating a curve from all of their right angles.
I will never yell out, smack a butt, give a high five or a hug to anyone under false pretenses. I won't lie and I will notice even if you think I didn't. I will see that tiny bit of shake when you think no one else is looking and I will celebrate it. I will celebrate with you, or at you or about you if I have to, but I won't let it escape unnoticed. If you add up a thousand of those, you can turn on your inner sex bomb any time you want to and you will not be able to avoid being more confident with all of the things you do. What is more important than the sex machine you create is learning to notice and celebrate your little victories and look back from where you are now to where you were. You will make a goal and take the thousand steps from where you are to where you want to be and it will spill out all over the rest of your life whether you want it to or not. I believe that is why women walk away loving themselves more in every aspect of their lives.
The truth is, many people are not inherently sexy. They don't ooze sex with every step, every breath. It is a skill and you can learn it. We, as women, are often taught that we can either be smart or sexy. We can be athletic or sexy. We can be graceful or sexy. We can be a thousand things, but we can't also be sexy. Only disreputable, slutty, nasty, gross, trashy women can be sexy because they cannot have any other positive qualities. Sexy means you have nothing else to offer but sex, right?
Um, yeah, bullshit! You're asking me, sugar would I lie to you? No. I won't lie. I won't tell you that your awkward, brainy self will penetrate the threshold of our hallowed studio and a sex bomb will explode all over the doorway and strut her ass in. The truth is sexy is a skill, you can work on it. You may not ever be Marilyn Monroe, but there is an alternate universe where you are all the things that make you successful and sexy at the same time. You don't have to choose one.
Sexy = confidence and confidence= sexy. All of you math geeks out there will look at that and say, that's an answer to a question, how do I get there? Where's the equation? Therein lies the rub, you have to find it. I know that sounds all existential, but that's why this is so hard. You have to find a new way of seeing the woman you think you already know. Some people are just one compliment and a smack on the ass away from full on sex goddess and other people have a thousand baby steps to go.
Who has two thumbs and has a thousand baby steps to go? This bitch. Okay, so a thousand baby steps is a long way, and a long way, is well, a long way. Dance class is a great way to take one teensy step at a time while avoiding humiliation in the eyes of the object of your romantic fancy. My best advice- start with eye contact. If you can't bear to look yourself in the eye, then look at someone else, just for a few seconds. Listen to the cheers of the women around you. We don't lie. We just see you in a different way, from a whole new perspective.
I don't lie, I can't. I am just not wired that way. What I can do is look at each woman when they walk through the door and see where they are at with being openly sexy and note each minute bit of progress. For some women it is taking out the ponytail holder, for some it's a solid smack on their own ass, for others it's a smile when they look in the mirror, for others it is as simple as creating a curve from all of their right angles.
I will never yell out, smack a butt, give a high five or a hug to anyone under false pretenses. I won't lie and I will notice even if you think I didn't. I will see that tiny bit of shake when you think no one else is looking and I will celebrate it. I will celebrate with you, or at you or about you if I have to, but I won't let it escape unnoticed. If you add up a thousand of those, you can turn on your inner sex bomb any time you want to and you will not be able to avoid being more confident with all of the things you do. What is more important than the sex machine you create is learning to notice and celebrate your little victories and look back from where you are now to where you were. You will make a goal and take the thousand steps from where you are to where you want to be and it will spill out all over the rest of your life whether you want it to or not. I believe that is why women walk away loving themselves more in every aspect of their lives.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Come on Barbie, Let's go Party
We have a busy weekend of bachelorette parties coming up. Spring isn't really in the air, but it is definitely wedding season. We have three parties on Saturday and if it is anything like last Saturday it will be a lot of fun - classes back -to -back from 2:45 to 9:30 ish.
I think the best part of the bachelorette pole class is when the mothers and mothers-in-law come to the class with the bride. We have had some incredible mothers who clearly have fantastic relationships with their daughters and just have a riot. I know there are plenty of great mothers out there who just simply could not be a part of pole dance classes with their daughters, but the ones we see that are yelling and clapping and snapping photos are inspiring.
We know a pole class can be intimidating and when you are having a party, you may as well have a drink or two. Some bachelorettes walk in ready to spin and shake it and others need to find a bit of liquid courage. We won't let anyone drink to the point of being wasted - obviously spinning and balance are impaired at that point, but a cocktail in your cockholster sometimes loosens you up a bit. Last weekend we had some absolutely fucking fantastic watermelon/malibu jello shots courtesy of one generous bride. Those are totally my new best friend.
Not to diminish our girls who just come to party with friends or are celebrating a birthday, but the bachelorettes are my favorite. They are always really happy and anxiously anticipating the next couple of weeks and are looking to pick up a few honeymoon surprises.
I think the best part of the bachelorette pole class is when the mothers and mothers-in-law come to the class with the bride. We have had some incredible mothers who clearly have fantastic relationships with their daughters and just have a riot. I know there are plenty of great mothers out there who just simply could not be a part of pole dance classes with their daughters, but the ones we see that are yelling and clapping and snapping photos are inspiring.
We know a pole class can be intimidating and when you are having a party, you may as well have a drink or two. Some bachelorettes walk in ready to spin and shake it and others need to find a bit of liquid courage. We won't let anyone drink to the point of being wasted - obviously spinning and balance are impaired at that point, but a cocktail in your cockholster sometimes loosens you up a bit. Last weekend we had some absolutely fucking fantastic watermelon/malibu jello shots courtesy of one generous bride. Those are totally my new best friend.
Not to diminish our girls who just come to party with friends or are celebrating a birthday, but the bachelorettes are my favorite. They are always really happy and anxiously anticipating the next couple of weeks and are looking to pick up a few honeymoon surprises.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
These cunts don't do country
Dancing 3x per week means that we are constantly trying to find different music to dance to. We try to vary the type of music that we play- some pop, some older rock, some cock rock (80s hair metal) and some modern rock and even the occasional disco song, but no country. If you are going to have a class that spans many ages and backgrounds, you have to try to appeal to a lot of different people, which inevitably means that our personal music collections are not always enough to get the job done. Even songs you like get old after hearing it over and over, so it's nice to bring in something fresh every now and then.
Lots of girls have made cd's for us over the years and they are all named Dance class, CD for Adena, or some variant of Sexy Pole Music. The problem with all mixed CD's is that there is no one name for them and though I poke fun at that when I am digging through the CD's looking for dance music. I had the same problem when I made a CD, absolutely no clue what to name it, so I named it Jaime made this 2011, lick my butt if you don't like it.
When creating your playlist of doom please keep a few things in mind:
1. we really try to avoid songs with the N word. Yes, I am aware that sailors stand with mouths agape when I fire off some colorful language, but one word you won't hear me say or see me type is the N word. It's just fucking horrible and offensive and I don't care what color your skin is, I think it is beyond low-class to throw it around and we would hate to offend someone else who has a far more personal relationship with that word than I'll ever see.
2. Please make an entire CD, one that is about an hour and 15 minutes long. A cd with 3 songs on it totally chaps my ass and not in a good way.
3. For fuck's sake name it something that identifies what it is - Sarah- fave 80s pop- or some such shit. (I didn't do that, but I was being an ass and even if I hadn't put my name on it, people would have known it was me because, well, I'm an ass.)
4. It would be nice to have a variety of different kinds of music on one CD. Change up the tempo, don't use all the same artist.
5. We don't use country music, it doesn't lend itself well to pole dancing and also, I hate it and I control the CD player.
6. If you love it, ignore all the shit I said above. If you love it, someone else will too, and if they don't well fuck them and dance your own ass off.
I lean toward the hard rock, so most of the songs on my CD are hard rock, but there are a few slower warm-up songs, and a few unexpected songs sprinkled in. here's the track list:
Lots of girls have made cd's for us over the years and they are all named Dance class, CD for Adena, or some variant of Sexy Pole Music. The problem with all mixed CD's is that there is no one name for them and though I poke fun at that when I am digging through the CD's looking for dance music. I had the same problem when I made a CD, absolutely no clue what to name it, so I named it Jaime made this 2011, lick my butt if you don't like it.
When creating your playlist of doom please keep a few things in mind:
1. we really try to avoid songs with the N word. Yes, I am aware that sailors stand with mouths agape when I fire off some colorful language, but one word you won't hear me say or see me type is the N word. It's just fucking horrible and offensive and I don't care what color your skin is, I think it is beyond low-class to throw it around and we would hate to offend someone else who has a far more personal relationship with that word than I'll ever see.
2. Please make an entire CD, one that is about an hour and 15 minutes long. A cd with 3 songs on it totally chaps my ass and not in a good way.
3. For fuck's sake name it something that identifies what it is - Sarah- fave 80s pop- or some such shit. (I didn't do that, but I was being an ass and even if I hadn't put my name on it, people would have known it was me because, well, I'm an ass.)
4. It would be nice to have a variety of different kinds of music on one CD. Change up the tempo, don't use all the same artist.
5. We don't use country music, it doesn't lend itself well to pole dancing and also, I hate it and I control the CD player.
6. If you love it, ignore all the shit I said above. If you love it, someone else will too, and if they don't well fuck them and dance your own ass off.
I lean toward the hard rock, so most of the songs on my CD are hard rock, but there are a few slower warm-up songs, and a few unexpected songs sprinkled in. here's the track list:
- Me So Horny ~ Richard Cheese
- Tainted Love ~ Marilyn Manson
- Psychotic Girl ~The black keys
- I'll Be Your Man ~ The Black Keys
- Cypress Grove ~ Clutch
- The Path Before Me ~ The Buffalo Killers
- Sweet Charity ~ Mr. Bungle
- She Rides ~ Danzig
- Fuck You ~ Cee-lo
- Lying is the Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off ~ Panic! At the Disco
- Cold Hard Bitch ~ JET
- Fat Bottom Girls ~ Queen
- Sugar Daddy ~ Soundtrack from Hedwig and the Angry Inch
- What!? ~ Rob Zombie
- Porn Star Dancing ~ My Darkest Days Featuring Ludacris
- Knockers ~ The Darkness
- Kinda I Want To ~ Nine Inch Nails
- Motherless Child ~ Clutch
- Wynona's Big Brown Beaver ~ Primus
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Misconceptions about pole classes
- I can't go to a pole class if I weigh more than 90 pounds.
- Mothers & Grandmothers can't go to pole classes.
- Everyone there will be smoking hot, 10,15,20 years younger than I am, and immensely talented.
- Pole classes are meant for women who plan to work in clubs.
- The teacher and other students will judge me.
There are hundreds more reasons that women come up with not to attend a pole class. Here are the facts, at least in our classes at Women's Exotic Workout, in Omaha, Nebraska
- Women of all sizes are sexy and full-figured women have plenty of curves to show off that some petite girls would kill for.
- Women of all ages and backgrounds can have a great time and get a great workout at a pole class. Being sexy and having sex is not only for 22 year-olds. If you are having sex (and we know you are, or are hoping to in the future), then pole class can be an excellent way to show the confidence that a mature woman has.
- Everyone comes in the door, regardless of age, with something to learn. For some it is confidence, for some it is strength or grace or just plain nerve, but having an ass so tight you can bounce a quarter off of it is not required at all.
- There are some girls who work in clubs currently who come to learn a few tricks, but the vast majority of women who attend our pole classes have absolutely no intention of working in a club and come for the workout and to have a ridiculous amount of fun.
- We believe that pole dancing is a great bonding experience for women, an opportunity to support and cheer for our girlfriends and we simply do not allow competition or judgment. Our goal is to help every woman feel sexier and more confident inside and out. We also believe that confidence will spill over into every aspect of your life.
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